Pens

I admit, I am a freak about pens!! I have a fascination with them. I always have. I have more than I could possible write with, but I have always been on the lookout for the best pen. I also want to note that I am not alone, there are members of my family, who shall remain nameless, who are also freaks about their pens too!

In addition, the main character in one of my favorite shows West Wing is a pen fan too, he says to his bodyman (personal aide) Charlie:

President Bartlet: Are we out of pens? That's a good pen, I need an everyday pen
Charlie: I've got pens....
Bartlet: You've got crappy pens with plastic tops. I need a solid pen that feels good in my hand but it's not so formal I feel like a dandy.
Charlie: I'm making some trips to pen stores, aren't I, Mr. President?

Now there is someone who understands!!! There are good pens, there are crappy pens, there are pens that work better on certain kinds of paper, there are ones that glide, and ones that just work all around! I have found such a pen.

They are called uni-ball Signo...They come in color - because black and blue are just boring. Now go out and buy them...wait don't, because when I run out there better be some in stock :)

Heat

I live in the wrong part of the country...

I am a winter girl! Give me jackets, sweaters, hats, gloves, boots!! I don't like shorts, skirts, open toed shoes. I love to be cold. I love to bundle up under my 7 covers (yes, I like covers on my bed), and snuggle up with a good tv show, or a book and drink hot chocolate.

None of that will be happening in my near future. The heat and I do not get along...at all!! I don't like to be hot, don't like to sweat, don't like to feel sticky. I don't like getting out of the shower, and then sweating while I dry my hair. I don't like walking outside and feel like I hit a brick wall of heat. I don't like running errands in the heat because you can never get cool. Yes, I have pretty much described the next 4 months of my life.

Today, I think it is going to get up to 99 degrees, people, it's only MAY!!! Last night, my roommate and I were walking back from the gym and it was 96 degrees at 6:48 PM!! Hey I can give a little, I will take t-shirt and jeans weather! Spring is a good season too! I can rock a light jacket, or a sleeveless shirt with my jeans! I'll compromise!

Alas, I think I am going to be miserable until October.

Wish me luck

Quote

I heard this quote the other day and loved it:

Be the kind of person that when your feet hit the floor the devil says "oh crap she's awake"

That is the kind of person I want to be! Someone who makes the devil shudder when I get up, someone who so rejects him and what he stands for that he trembles in fear. Someone who is so rooted in the Lord that the devil doesn't stand a chance!!

That is my goal...

Mirror of Truth

Mirrors - I sometimes struggle with mirrors...I'm not sure there is a girl out there who doesn't. You can't really hide in a mirror, especially those magnifying mirrors! Yikes!

Mirrors are just a simple reflection, but we can turn that into something way different! There are days I look in the mirror and do not like what I see. I see a girl who has gained weight, who has frizzy curly hair, whose make up didn't go on right and who is just all around struggling. there are days I do like what I see - those things just all come together and I look "not bad". I have never been someone who has thought she was beautiful or gorgeous - I also think I am not ugly - Average, the best word to describe me.

I look into a mirror everyday, and depending on my mood or my emotional state, I either like what I see or I don't. So, I decided to take back my mirror! :)

My mirrors have now become "truth mirrors" I have 2 that I look in everyday and on them I have written truths about me and about life. On one, I have written "Enjoy Everyday! You are in this season for a reason and it's a BLESSING" That one is pretty self-explanatory. In my bathroom I have a larger mirror that I have written Bible verses and quotes that encourage me and tell me who I am in Christ. They are TRUTH!!

Now, when I look in my mirror, I am reminded of who I am in Christ, the promises and truths the Bible gives me, encouragement about my walk from other people. I don't have to look into the mirror and see a girl who is struggling, but I can look past myself to focus on the words of Truth and be encouraged.

Here are some of my Truth sayings:

"Cast your burden on the Lord, He will sustain you" - Ps. 55:22
Don't focus on what you don't have - but on what you do.
"You are stronger than you give yourself credit for - in Christ you have divine power"
"Do not worry about your life" - Matt. 6:25
Because of Grace, I can come just as I am
"Help me to learn how to hang on tight to YOU when my life is rocked"
"He knows me"- Ps 139
You are a toothpick duct-taped to a lead pipe (I am the toothpick, Christ is the lead pipe)
"YOU know me better than I know myself"
Pray without ceasing.

What do you see when you look in the mirror??

Life

So far, this has been a great year!! The Lord has been moving mightily in my life, and I am so glad it’s been a long journey!

The past 2 years haven’t been great for me. I have really struggled. I have had some major life changes, and even though the Lord still worked in my life, I was not content with where I was. I knew where I wanted to be, but didn’t know how to get there. I know I can’t get there on my own – I need Christ to take me there. I had some dark days, some really down times. Through this process I learned that you can’t do it all on your own – even though I tried really hard! Despite my blah-ness and my struggles, the Lord did give me grace and mercy! He gave me some really great times and awesome memories – He was there for me despite not being able to be there for myself.

This February my life changed. I had a good conversation with my sister, and with my parents and with the Lord. I just got everything out that I had built up. I was fed up with doing things my way. I needed the Lord to come in and take over. I was tired of my plans not working out and getting disappointed. I was tired of struggling through life. I was finally able to say out loud what I had been feeling. I kept it inside for so long because I didn’t feel I had a right to feel this way. I was ashamed. I had put up a front that everything was fine, and I didn’t want to let anyone down. Then the load became too heavy for me. I couldn’t carry it any longer. I had to listen to Scripture:

I Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you

Hebrews 4:16: Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

I had to let the Lord carry my load for me. I had to come to Him with confidence and say “I need you to take control; I need you to help me”. I learned we can get through the day to day on our own, but it won’t be a good day, we will struggle through it. If we live the day with Christ as our strength, guide, and help it will be a great day. I knew that the Lord was with me and was still helping me, but I didn’t have the confidence in myself that I needed. I didn’t feel worthy of His help – I have since realized that I can’t do anything without it.

Ever since then, I have felt the grace and the mercy that comes with trusting the Lord. I feel like a different person. I am happy with my life. I love where I am at. I am embracing this season and this journey. I still trust and hope that my desires and dreams will come true, but I know that it will be in the Lord’s perfect timing. I don’t have control over life’s situations, and I am ok with that! I know that the Lord has my best interests at heart! He is going to give me a far better life than I could even dream for myself. It is freeing to give someone else control – someone you trust!

I am so thankful to my family and friends for sticking with me these past 2 years – I know it has been rough at times dealing with my massive mood drops and my down days. I know that I haven’t treated you always as I should have. You guys have helped me so much and I am so grateful that you were there.

Mini-Vacay

I love my job - I love the company I work for - the one "fault" it has, if you can call it that - holidays. We go from January 2 to May 29 without a day off. My job can be very stressful at times and going this long without a day off can really mess with your sanity! :)

I had one of those weeks where I couldn't take it anymore, it was a very stressful week, and I wanted to get away from my responsibilities at home. I didn't want to go to a hotel by myself, - so I went to my parents!! :) I decided that would be a fun place to hang out for the night. (and I knew my roommate would take care of the cats- thanks Sara!)

So Friday night I am at my parents and we decided to call my sister and brother and see if they wanted to come over for game night. They wanted to, so they were going to come over after dinner. Well dad and I decided to make a home-made pizza and thought to call Ben and Sarah to see if they wanted dinner - well they were making pizza as well and so over they game!

It was a great night!! We have so much fun as a family! We ate pizza, made milkshakes (Ben's was an oreo, brownie, vanilla ice cream concoction), and we popped our own popcorn. We played 5 Crowns and Uno. We laughed a lot!! I had an absolute blast.

This morning mom and I made English muffins and sausage. After breakfast (dad ate at the crack of dawn while mom and I were sound asleep), Dad and I ran to Best Buy so he could help me buy a GPS!! In the end I had to run to another store to get it, but he really helped me pick one out. I am excited to start using it and see how I like it.

I am so thankful for this mini vacation. It was really good for me to get away from the normal and to have a good time with my family. I am so thankful that we all live close by to have these impromptu nights together!

John 10:10

"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."

Pastor Lincoln spoke on this verse today, and it really resonated with me. He illustrated it using a dog and his bone. A dog takes a bone with some meat on it and buries it. Weeks later, he digs it up and it stinks, but he wants to eat it because it is his bone! You know that the bone isn't good for him because it stinks and has molded meat on it. Instead, you want to give him a piece of fresh steak, but he is unsure about giving up his bone.

We shouldn't settle for less than everything God wants for us! We shouldn't settle for the stinky molding bone, when we can have fresh steak. God knows what is best for me, and he knows what is in store for me. There are so many times when I have wanted a relationship to work out, or to be healed immediately, or to get the raise, or the car, but looking back I know those weren't good for me. I shouldn't settle for what I think is best. Satan knows what my desires are, and he knows what is going to "get me" the most. He knows how to tempt me and to make me settle for things that I shouldn't. Christ on the other hand wants me to have life, in fact, abundant life! He doesn't want me to settle for anything, but to have the best of everything. I should expect better of myself, and God can make me better. Jesus wants to make me better than I could ever make myself.