Myself

Life is constantly changing and moving, which isn’t always great for a girl who isn’t a fan of change. I do not mind change mind you, change isn’t an enemy, it can be a great thing. It’s just that in order to function, I have to have a routine and a schedule. So when that is interrupted, I am thrown for a loop until I can figure out a new one.

Last month was a very odd month for me. I don’t really know how to put it into words, but I just felt off, not myself. Don’t get me wrong, it was a great month, a lot of fantastic things happened, and I enjoyed it all, there were just many moments when I was alone in my house that I didn’t think things were right. The only conclusion I can come up with, is that when I moved into my house, I was on a marathon until the end of February. I moved, a week later was Sarah’s shower, work was insane with Annual Meeting, we were all prepping for baby, and several other events. I didn’t stop until the end of February and boy was I glad to get off that train. I don’t think I had time to fully adjust to my new “house” lifestyle. I don’t have a fantastic routine down yet for bills, or chores, and I’m not nearly as organized as I would like to be.

It all hit me in March that I’m not up to the bar that I set for myself. I had grand ideas for my house. I had dreams of organization systems, and filing cabinets, and great routines. I wanted lists of what I would accomplish weekly, monthly, quarterly, and here it is, month 3 and I don’t have those things done yet. I know my end goal, I just have to figure out how to accomplish it. Not having these things accomplished somehow seeped into other areas of my life, where I was able to beat myself up, and that isn’t right.

So now that is it April 4^th, it’s time to turn over a new leaf! It’s time to accomplish that goal that I set for myself. It’s time to become that “super OCD organized girl” that I used to be. It’s time to figure out a plan and set it into action. Wish me luck!

Self-Esteem

Every once in awhile my boss will ask me to read articles or books to get my point of view on them. Yesterday, he asked me to read John Rosemond's latest article in The State about self-esteem (http://www.thestate.com/2012/03/25/2207593/john-rosemond-high-self-esteem.html)

I thought he spoke a lot of truth! This day in age, self-esteem is rooted in praise, I feel good about myself, only if I am rewarded/someone notices what I did. That just makes me sad! Self-esteem should be rooted in who you are as a person, not in what you do. We definitely don't help children make this shift in thinking when we allow everyone to make the team, or when everyone gets a trophy in school. That isn't life, and when we play it safe by making everything equal, we only hinder kids by hiding the truth.

It also made me wonder if praise based self-esteem hinders their relationship with Christ. We don't get audible praise from God, we don't always get rewarded right away, we definitely aren't all treated equally. What he has in store for me, is not the same that he has for my friend. If we lead kids into believing that everyone is right and if they are praised all the time, what are we showing them with a relationship with Christ? We are setting them up for failure because we don't always get what we think we "deserve". We also run the risk of turning a "faith-based" Christianity into a "works-based" Christianity. They don't get immediate praise from God, or an instant reward, so they work harder, spend more time with God, pray more, all to get what they think they deserve.

Caleb

My nephew Caleb was born this week!! I am so excited I can hardly stand it! Here is a picture....(yes, that is my work nametag haha)



He was born on Tuesday, February 28th at 2:15 PM. My sister was a champ!! She was induced that morning and not much later he was here. I didn't get to be at the hospital when he was born because I had to be at a conference for work (more later). Ben did an amazing job keeping me updated via text, and sent me pictures as soon as he made an appearance. He also sent me a video, which made me feel so special. I am so thankful that he took the time to keep me in the loop, despite not being able to be there in person. I was able to visit that afternoon on a break, and went back after the conference was over. I was actually the first one to hold him (after Ben and Sarah of course), so that was really special!

I am amazed at how I am reacting to him. I mean I knew that I would be excited, but I honestly thought it would be like any other baby, but it's definitely not! I can not wait to see him! I also want to be cautious of over-staying my welcome. It's going to take time figuring out boundaries and responsibilities and schedules. I know that I do not want to be a "helicopter Aunt" (one who hovers). I want to make sure that I give Ben and Sarah their space, but also be there to help when needed. It's a thin line, one where we have to be patient in figuring out where in the sand the line is. Thankfully we are a very honest family, so we will talk things out.

been awhile

Yes, I know, it's been awhile, my apologies!

Life has been good! Been adjusting to being a homeowner and all the perks and responsibilities that come with it. I absolutely LOVE my house and feel completely at home there. It's amazing to me how quickly something can become home. I really want to use my house to entertain, A because I have the opportunity now that I didn't before and B because I have the space that I didn't before. I don't want to "hoard" my house, but I want to share it with others and use it whenever it's needed. I've had a few events there so far and I've loved having the opportunity to do so!

Sarah's baby shower was there the weekend after I moved in, and that was a lot of fun! It was crazy because I didn't necessarily have everything I needed, like punch bowls, serving trays, saran wrap for leftovers, but it was fun to have a scavenger hunt of sorts to find alternates for the missing essentials. Sarah had a great time and that is all that matters. We had about 20 people or so attend and Sarah (/Ben) received a lot of great gifts!

Contemplating having a house warming party, but I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I've been going back and forth for a few weeks and I just don't think I'm comfortable having one. I mean to me it's like "hey, come look at this great house I just built, give me compliments, and bring me a gift." and that isn't what I want it to be at all! I mean people have asked to see it, but I just don't know how to do it without it being arrogant/prideful/showy. Maybe I'm over-thinking it.

We are ready for baby!! So excited to meet my new nephew Caleb in a few weeks. Sarah is down for the count and we are all ready for him to come. Hard to believe on some level that it's almost time for him to be here, but at the same time it feels like a while since they told us they were pregnant.

My car door-handle on the inside of the driver side broke this past week. For my car to be 14 years old, 191,000 miles, I can handle a car door-handle breaking! Thankfully my dad is quite handy that he was able to fix it and everything is new again. Praying that my car holds on a few more years, but am anticipating that not happening.

I feel like the past two months have just flown by! I can't believe that today I have been in my house for 4 weeks! I have been so busy finalizing apartment info/adjusting/settling/getting new routines, hanging out with friends, planning things, going to church events, and spending time with family, that I kinda feel like the past few weeks have been a blur.

Crazed

What a crazy few weeks it has been!! I have been running since December 29th, and I feel like I can finally relax, at least somewhat. I will have more updates to come, but let me give you highlights of what's been going on.

I closed on my house on Dec. 29th. Was supposed to be the 28th, went to closing, signed everything but I didn't get the keys. It's a somewhat long story, but let's just say that we weren't told everything that was going on and were blindsided at closing. My amazing realtor worked his tail off that night to make sure I closed on the 29th and I did! My dad spend the next 3 days painting, while Mom and I unpacked the boxes. I would not have gotten it done as quick as I did without them.

On Jan 7th, I had friends come over and help me move. That was uneventful as well thankfully. Greg, who is from North Dakota, gave me a great compliment when he told his wife, "Well, you can tell they are from the north, that was the most organized move I've helped out". That is so fun to hear! Hey, if you are going to give up your time to come help me move, I am not going to waste it - I will get you in and out as quick as possible. Thankfully everything went smoothly and as planned.

The next week was spent putting all the decorative things out, hanging things on the wall, finalizing the look of the house. It's been so much fun watching it all come together. I LOVE living there, and am so thankful that God opened up this opportunity for me. I'm also very thankful that He had me wait (instead of my time frame 3 years ago), because I appreciate it more than I think I would have back then.

We had a week to get everything together for Sarah's shower that I helped throw at the house. Yes, that's right, I scheduled a baby shower at my house a week after I was supposed to move in. Without my family, it NEVER would have gotten done. Everyone was shocked that I moved in only a few weeks before. My friend Mandi said "if you come to my house, you can judge because I've lived there two months and it doesn't look like this." That girl cracks me up! The shower went off without a hitch! We had a lot of fun, and Sarah got a lot of things off her registry. IT was very low key and just time to hang out and chat. Sarah doesn't' like games, so there weren't any, we just ate, opened gifts, and relaxed. Sometimes no agenda is the way to go.

I am so thankful that I got to see my Lancaster peeps again! 7 of them came down the the shower, Deb, Sara, Lilly, Meghan, Leslie, Mandi and Marilyn. We had an absolute blast with them! They haven't been down since Ben and Sarah's wedding 7 years ago. I am still amazed that we have been friends for my entire life! No matter how long we are apart, we pick up right where we left off. There were several times where we laughed until we cried, we shared hilarious stories, and now have several inside jokes. I love them to death, and was sad to see them go.

I think that is all for now, I will try to upload some pictures of everything soon....

Gratitude

How do you thank people for the things they do for you in life? How do you thank

the Mentor - who gave you two years of her life, meeting with you weekly and helped you grow in all aspects of your life?
the Realtor - who gave you 5 months of his life to help you find your first home, make sure you understood everything you were signing?
the Siblings - who are there through thick and thin, make you laugh, support you, listen to you vent, and let you ask thousands of questions
the Parents - who have been there your whole life, who are great examples, who have gone above and beyond for you, encourage you and give great advice
the PA Friends - who make you feel like you are home when you are with them, who pick up right where you left off?
the SC Friends - who are there in an instant if I need them, who will help me move, who are there with a hug and a smile whenever.

How do you thank these people? You can write a note, give a hug or a gift, and just out right say it, but it's not enough! There is no way to thank these people for investing in your life. You can show you care and appreciate them in the way you live your life, but I don't know that you can ever truly express how much they mean to you. I have been struggling with this.

My parents have devoted the past 3 days solid to helping me with my house. They have been working so hard to make sure it's everything I have wanted it to be. My dad has done so much manual labor that the poor guy was really hurting today, my mom has given so much decorative advice, and helped me place things. I couldn't do it without either one of them, and there is no way to properly thank them.

So, to all those people listed above, THANK-YOU from the bottom of my hear! You mean more to me then I can ever express!!

Change

I've never done well with change...I'm talking big changes, first day of college, first day of school, first time living alone. There will inevitably be a meltdown a few days after the change to release the stress and tension that comes with it. It's because I like routines, and when there is a change I have to come up with a new routine. I'm a creature of habit, and I like knowing what to expect.

I also don't like change when it takes people out of my life. When my friend Ashley quit working with me, when I leave a visit to PA there have been tears shed. I'm going through a friend change now. I just bought a house (yay), and I've been working with a Zack, my realtor who has become a good friend. We actually went to high school together! I have been working with Zack since the beginning of August when the house search began, and then all during the building process. We talked almost daily, and got to know one another. He is the best realtor I could have asked for. We would get together weekly and would spend at least an hour at the house, with 75% of the time spent talking about our lives. I am going to miss spending time with him, getting his advice, and learning from him. It's hard when someone is just out of your life "cold turkey". I know that we will see each other when he comes to look at the house after I get it spruced up, but I will definitely miss our weekly meetings.

I am very excited about my house and all the decorating I get to do, and parties and functions I will have there. It will be fun to be done with renting and apartment life. I can't wait to see how my cats do in the "big house". It is going to be fun watching them run around.

All that to say, I have a lot of change coming in the next few weeks, and I know that I am going to need time to adjust and comprehend all the new responsibilities I have. Thankfully I have a lot of friends and family around to help me out.

Got one last "new adventure" in before the end of the year, and I'd say this is a big one!