House Update

Well, it has been a long 3 weeks but I finally have a foundation!!! I'm very excited!! I received an email from my builder stating the company that was initially contracted to lay the foundation never showed, so they replaced them and the foundation was put in this past week. This has delayed my closing, but they hope to make it up in the next two months. Yes, my closing date is supposed to be December 28th, so we will see if that is going to be the case. I have to say that I am enjoying this process, but it's been frustrating because it seems to be off to a slow start. Especially when there were 4 houses that were started together (mine included) and I went out today and all of the other three houses are framed and 2 have windows, yet I got my foundation this past Thursday. So I'm trying to focus on the positive side - my foundation is in - but it's also annoying knowing that I was the first contract, and my house is taking the longest. But like I said, focus on the positive right? and hey, when I went out there today, a kid was using my foundation as a skate park, so I guess he was enjoying it too!

Here is a picture of my house as of now! :)

Happy Day

Today is my dad's birthday!! (yes, my parents birthdays are close together...) My dad is hilarious, smart, quirky. He is great at girl problems - believe it or not, he knows how to shed light on the heart of an issue and make it seem so simple. He is encouraging, supportive, easy-going, and just plain to fun to be around. He loves his family to death and would do anything for us. I'm really couldn't have asked for a better dad, and role-model. Love you!

I'm a day late

but Happy Birthday to my mom!! I am so thankful for her and couldn't ask for a better mom. She is incredibly smart, wise, great at giving advice, doesn't give up...ever, an amazing cook, hilarious, and fun to be around! She is generous, and helpful, and always there when I need her. I LOVE YOU!!

Update

I wanted to share some pictures of my house....still in the early stages, but here is what I have so far.

The red clay has arrived

They started putting up "boundary" type things on the left and back...

This is the front of the house - they started digging the foundation today.

This is the back half of the house

I have definitely learned that it is hard to go out there alone - I need to go out with someone who knows what is going on. Tonight I left with a few questions as to what is going on.

It's funny how it can seem so small. I was walking around it thinking, how small it looked. I hope I look back on this day and am able to say "wow, remember when I thought this place looked small?"

I'm so excited to see this come to fruition!! I can't wait until it is framed and see my house for the first time in 3D!

My Standard

I hold myself to an incredibly high standard. I always have. Along with that comes the fact that I am my own worst critic. I will beat myself up over something so miniscule that it's doesn't deserve mentioning, but there I am giving myself the what for over it. I expect way too much of myself. I have this image in my head of what I think I should be able to accomplish, handle, do, complete, reach and when I fall short the disappointment sets in. When I was younger, all my parents had to do was look at me, and I would immediately confess, and feel horrible. A disappointing look was way worse than them yelling at me. There were times where I wanted them to yell because it would make me feel better, instead I would get a look and I would want to die. I guess in a way, I'm the same way today. I don't want to yell at myself (although that would be quite the image), instead I make myself feel even worse by giving myself the ultimate punishment....disappointment.

Usually, I do pretty well hitting my bar. Each day I set goals, and have things that I want to accomplish, and most days I come out ahead, but the past few weeks I have been coming up ever so short. Its miniscule things, forgetting to do this, not paying attention to that minor detail, getting distracted, relationships aren't as they should be, I have the feeling for frazzlement and harriedness. I'm not meeting my standard and that disappoints me. I haven't been as detail oriented, I'm not as organized as I would like to be, I find it hard to find words that describe what I need, I feel like I am grasping at things that are just out of reach. I am not meeting the standard that I have for myself - not by a long shot.

I know why I'm this way lately - I am building a house. I am taking on a huge undertaking and it is using a lot of my brain power to make sure things go according to plan. If you remember from a couple of posts back, this is all riding on my shoulders. I don't have a spouse to share the responsibility with, and that makes the pressure even worse. And you know what, I beat myself up because I let building a house get to me. How screwy is that? Instead of lowering my expectations bar and giving myself some slack, I raise it and expect to sail right over it. I beat myself up because I feel I should be even more organized, more put together, have it all, instead I am the opposite. I'm a human being, not superman. I have faults, issues, handicaps. I'm not an electrician, builder, foundation layer. I can't know it all, be all, do it all.

So, here is to accepting help, getting better organized, thinking things through, taking things one day at a time, looking at the big picture, being patient with myself, letting go and enjoying this process. Here's to not beating myself up over small things, and embracing the changes that are headed my way - the good...scratch that....great changes that are ahead. Here's to realizing that I don't always have to have it all together, that I can not reach the bar and not be disappointed.