Life

So far, this has been a great year!! The Lord has been moving mightily in my life, and I am so glad it’s been a long journey!

The past 2 years haven’t been great for me. I have really struggled. I have had some major life changes, and even though the Lord still worked in my life, I was not content with where I was. I knew where I wanted to be, but didn’t know how to get there. I know I can’t get there on my own – I need Christ to take me there. I had some dark days, some really down times. Through this process I learned that you can’t do it all on your own – even though I tried really hard! Despite my blah-ness and my struggles, the Lord did give me grace and mercy! He gave me some really great times and awesome memories – He was there for me despite not being able to be there for myself.

This February my life changed. I had a good conversation with my sister, and with my parents and with the Lord. I just got everything out that I had built up. I was fed up with doing things my way. I needed the Lord to come in and take over. I was tired of my plans not working out and getting disappointed. I was tired of struggling through life. I was finally able to say out loud what I had been feeling. I kept it inside for so long because I didn’t feel I had a right to feel this way. I was ashamed. I had put up a front that everything was fine, and I didn’t want to let anyone down. Then the load became too heavy for me. I couldn’t carry it any longer. I had to listen to Scripture:

I Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you

Hebrews 4:16: Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

I had to let the Lord carry my load for me. I had to come to Him with confidence and say “I need you to take control; I need you to help me”. I learned we can get through the day to day on our own, but it won’t be a good day, we will struggle through it. If we live the day with Christ as our strength, guide, and help it will be a great day. I knew that the Lord was with me and was still helping me, but I didn’t have the confidence in myself that I needed. I didn’t feel worthy of His help – I have since realized that I can’t do anything without it.

Ever since then, I have felt the grace and the mercy that comes with trusting the Lord. I feel like a different person. I am happy with my life. I love where I am at. I am embracing this season and this journey. I still trust and hope that my desires and dreams will come true, but I know that it will be in the Lord’s perfect timing. I don’t have control over life’s situations, and I am ok with that! I know that the Lord has my best interests at heart! He is going to give me a far better life than I could even dream for myself. It is freeing to give someone else control – someone you trust!

I am so thankful to my family and friends for sticking with me these past 2 years – I know it has been rough at times dealing with my massive mood drops and my down days. I know that I haven’t treated you always as I should have. You guys have helped me so much and I am so grateful that you were there.

Mini-Vacay

I love my job - I love the company I work for - the one "fault" it has, if you can call it that - holidays. We go from January 2 to May 29 without a day off. My job can be very stressful at times and going this long without a day off can really mess with your sanity! :)

I had one of those weeks where I couldn't take it anymore, it was a very stressful week, and I wanted to get away from my responsibilities at home. I didn't want to go to a hotel by myself, - so I went to my parents!! :) I decided that would be a fun place to hang out for the night. (and I knew my roommate would take care of the cats- thanks Sara!)

So Friday night I am at my parents and we decided to call my sister and brother and see if they wanted to come over for game night. They wanted to, so they were going to come over after dinner. Well dad and I decided to make a home-made pizza and thought to call Ben and Sarah to see if they wanted dinner - well they were making pizza as well and so over they game!

It was a great night!! We have so much fun as a family! We ate pizza, made milkshakes (Ben's was an oreo, brownie, vanilla ice cream concoction), and we popped our own popcorn. We played 5 Crowns and Uno. We laughed a lot!! I had an absolute blast.

This morning mom and I made English muffins and sausage. After breakfast (dad ate at the crack of dawn while mom and I were sound asleep), Dad and I ran to Best Buy so he could help me buy a GPS!! In the end I had to run to another store to get it, but he really helped me pick one out. I am excited to start using it and see how I like it.

I am so thankful for this mini vacation. It was really good for me to get away from the normal and to have a good time with my family. I am so thankful that we all live close by to have these impromptu nights together!

John 10:10

"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."

Pastor Lincoln spoke on this verse today, and it really resonated with me. He illustrated it using a dog and his bone. A dog takes a bone with some meat on it and buries it. Weeks later, he digs it up and it stinks, but he wants to eat it because it is his bone! You know that the bone isn't good for him because it stinks and has molded meat on it. Instead, you want to give him a piece of fresh steak, but he is unsure about giving up his bone.

We shouldn't settle for less than everything God wants for us! We shouldn't settle for the stinky molding bone, when we can have fresh steak. God knows what is best for me, and he knows what is in store for me. There are so many times when I have wanted a relationship to work out, or to be healed immediately, or to get the raise, or the car, but looking back I know those weren't good for me. I shouldn't settle for what I think is best. Satan knows what my desires are, and he knows what is going to "get me" the most. He knows how to tempt me and to make me settle for things that I shouldn't. Christ on the other hand wants me to have life, in fact, abundant life! He doesn't want me to settle for anything, but to have the best of everything. I should expect better of myself, and God can make me better. Jesus wants to make me better than I could ever make myself.

The Big Mo

This past weekend I went with a group of people from Shandon to Shealy's and The Big Mo. Shealy's is a famous BBQ joint, and the Big Mo is a drive-in theater in Monetta, about 45 minutes from Columbia. The theater provides 2 screens with each screen having a double-feature. Our options were Hop and Yogi Bear or Limitless and The Lincoln Lawyer. We decided to go see Limitless and The Lincoln Lawyer...Mostly because of the main guys in them! haha.

So you drive out to the middle of nowhere and there is this massive line to get into the theater area. There is one guy collecting money and directing you to whichever screen your movies are on. We paid the man our $7 each and parked our car. I think there were about 4 or 5 cars in our group, and we were all able to park in a row. We arrived about 45 minutes before the movie started and sat around talking and playing card games. Sarah and I had a great idea to flip April's car around so the trunk was facing the screen, and we put blankets on top of the trunk and had a nice reclining seat complete with pillows! It was a nice way to watch I have to admit.

Limitless was up first, and that was good. It's about a guy who takes a pill that when swallowed, allows you to use every part of your brain and makes you do things you couldn't before. It was somewhat hard to hear at places (you have to listen thru your car radio or a portable radio, and we were relying on cars around us for sound), but I thought it was a good movie. There were moments of suspense, action, and all out grossness.

In between movies, I saw they had funnel cakes, so I got one - oh yes it was microwaved!!! I didn't know you could do that to a funnel cake. Needless to say it was not good but I think the guys ended up eating it anyway haha.

The Lincoln Lawyer was up next, and I would not recommend it. It was about a lawyer who works out of his Town car. It was boring! There was no action, no suspense, no substance, basically dull. The only action is at the end for about 2 seconds and that's it. There were only 5 of us that stayed for this movie and I'm sure the others were glad they left. Sarah and I had a great time looking for Constellations during the movie. I downloaded an app that told us where they were, and that killed a chunk of time :)

I got home around 1:30 Sunday morning, and it was definitely worth it!! I am so glad I went! Met some new people, made new friends, and got to do another thing on my "new things" list.

My girls

This past Wednesday night my Bible Study started up again. We took a few weeks hiatus because a few of the girls had babies! I can't tell you how excited I am that we have started up. I have missed these girls deeply!

I have been involved with this group since January of 2010. My friend Elisa wanted to start going and wanted me to go with her, but I had another commitment on Wednesday nights. When that changed that to another night I decided to go with Elisa. I was very hesitant but it's one of the best decisions I have ever made! From the first visit you know that God is completely in this group - there is no denying it. The group wasn't started by a church, in fact we all go to different churches, but that doesn't matter. It's amazing to hear how God has brought each individual to this group, and how we are all intertwined. We were talking one night about all the connections we had and it's all God that brought us together. I had no idea how this group would change my life.

At this study, some of us are married, some have kids, some engaged, and some single. Despite that diversity, we are all very close. I seriously love those girls and would do anything for them. They are so encouraging, up lifting, hilarious, and real. We are so vulnerable, so comfortable, so safe. We share everything and know that it will not leave the group. We have laughed together, cried together, and cried while laughing. We have helped each other in difficult times and rejoiced together in celebration. I am so incredibly thankful that God brought me to this group, that He has blessed me with these girls. They have changed my life and I can't thank them enough. I love them to death!

Here are some of us at Amanda's baby shower.

Behind the Scenes

I am a huge behind the scenes fan. I am the girl who watches all the special features on DVD's. I am the girl who would love to go behind the scenes of different companies to see how they operate. I would love to go take the backstage tour at Disney and see the tunnels underneath Magic Kingdom. I want to go down into the crew quarters of Disney Cruise Line, and shadow a crew member for a day. Sometimes I am more interested in what I can't see, what is behind the scenes than what is up front.

My dad has had a huge impact on my life in this way. He and I love to explore new places. Whenever we go somewhere new, he and I always drop everything and explore it, see what we can, try to go to places we shouldn't. We love it!! My dad is a sound-man. I remember when I went with him to do sound at a Teresa Moshell concert - it was our little road trip, and I loved watching him work. I can remember going with him on Saturday nights to set up the stage for church Sunday morning. It was our thing. We would go and blare the music and set up all the mics, instruments, and monitors. When I got older, I would help him out in the sound booth. I would work the lights and the stage screens (powerpoints) and video. I loved it, the adrenaline when something wouldn't work, and the excitement when you did a great job. I loved knowing how the service was planned out, how all the pieces were coming together in harmony to assist in people worshiping Christ. I miss it! I miss working sound with my dad, the Sunday mornings we got to spend together.

There are many things you can learn while watching the special features on DVD's. I think it would be fun to work on a movie set. It would be awesome to watch it all filmed, then watch the final production. I'm a Celine Dion fan, and I have a DVD of one of her concerts in LA and there is a feature where you follow her from leaving her house, putting on the show, then going back home afterward. You see her getting ready, doing meet and greets, putting on the show. Sometimes they do a split screen of what is going on backstage, and what is happening on stage. I love that!! I am so intrigued by that. You learn so much on special features of DVD's. One thing is that I learned is the artist who drew the Beast for Disney's Beauty and the Beast, is a Christian! He taped 1 Corinthians 5:17 ("if any man is in Christ he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come") to help him draw the transformation of the Beast to a Man. To know that he used Scripture as a guide to draw a character amazes me. This is the kind of stuff that I love to know.

This month, my 2 friends and I are going to go to NC to see the set where One Tree Hill is filmed. They give tours and you can take a walk around the town and see the fronts to their stores, houses, and other sets. I am really excited to go see this! It is going to be a great girls day.

We were talking in Sunday School today about how when we get to Heaven, we will watch the "movie of our life". On Earth we have so many questions, we wonder why we go through hard times, and we know that angels are protecting us. I can't wait to see where the angels fought the demons for me. To watch the angels protect me in my car accident - and other times that I don't even know about. I can't wait to get answers to my questions, to see how decisions I have made have affected my life in good and bad ways. That movie of my life is going to be interesting, yet hard to watch. I think it is really going to be eye-opening. I know there are reasons that I don't know all the answers - I can't handle knowing them, and that is fine with me. I'm excited to watch the behind the scenes of my life.